Change is Inevitable

*sigh*

I miss Faith.

I babysit for S. Clarke occasionally on Thursday nights where he plays the piano at the London Outreach Center (LOC), which is now in Faith's old building. It's weird being in there, let me tell you. It's funny how every church I've ever known who has worship practice is always held on Thursday. Just an interesting note. Anyways, it's funny because LOC took over Faith's building, but they also bought the place next door to Faith as well in order to expand their building. It's much different when you walk in for sure, but if you look closely, you'll find evidence of Faith. Now I just want to make something clear here and say that in no way am I going to be bashing LOC at all. I think it's neat, though, walking around and seeing some of the stuff from Faith. Things that I've noticed are the same are just little things, like the cupboards and everything in the kitchen is the same....that's pretty much the only major thing left in tack, but even the little labels under the kitchen cupboards are the ones that we wrote down so many years ago, as well as the slidy thing we used so that we didn't kill the people in the kitchen with our hockey playing, or hurt ball! There are also the wall lamps from the old sanctuary now in the nursery's backroom; the bathroom doors and signs are the same, as well as the paper towel holders in the bathrooms; the carpet from our old sanctuary is the same, but it is now a youth room; it looks like they took part of our old stage as well, but rearranged it a little differently; the storage room is the same (including the mops!); the front foyer tiles are the same; the exit signs are still on all the doors, and that's all I can think of for now. In order for you to really understand what they changed and how they changed it, you'd have to go see for yourself because it's way too much to explain on here. Yes, I admit it, I was snooping around a bit, but I just couldn't help myself!

Sometimes going there is hard because lately I've just really felt like I want to feel home again. I don't feel at home at New Hope and probably never will. The other time I babysat I came a bit early so I was sitting in the sanctuary waiting for Mr. C. and I was watching everyone set up their stuff and I wanted so badly to just climb on stage, pick up a guitar or something, and just hack around. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss singing and worship practice so much. I want to feel a part of a team like that again. I loved our worship and felt like it was actual worship and not just a performance. It's funny how much you can take something for granted, something that was such a huge part of my life, and then once it's gone, that's when you realize its significance. I wish now that I could have realized how amazing our church family really was when I was actually a part of it. But on the brightside, getting together with everyone always seems just like it did back then and I never feel awkward or like I don't know everyone.

Even though change is inevitable, it doesn't mean all change is bad. Looking back at this I know that it was for the best and the leaders were following God, and I know it was a very difficult decision to make because I know how difficult it was to hear. But God does have different plans for all of us, and I can already see how changes are being made in peoples lives, as well as my own. I've just been thinking a lot about this lately and even now, it's hard to let go, especially when pretty much once a week I'm reminded of it. Anyways, I just needed to clear my head. Just to let you know, this wasn't meant as any sort of depressing thing. I'm not depressed at all, more like daydreaming and reminiscing. I'm actually really tired because I've barely slept the past three nights, so I'm downing the caffeine and plugging away on my essays and things.

I'm going to end this thing by referring to the story of Job because Job had all sorts of changes made to his life and he had no clue why, but through it all, through the hard times and the darkness, he never once cursed God. I think it's applicable here because even though, to me at least, this was an extremely difficult thing to deal with, I want to know and understand that God is bigger than it all, and that He has plans for me that I can't even begin to ever dream of.