Master of the Slippery

I want that printed on my tombstone.

Why you ask? Yes, yes you did ask why, so now I am answering you. You didn't say why? Well too bad, I'm answering you anyways! Ahem, because I am, indeed, the master of the slippery. For some reason I am a much better driver in the winter than I am in perfectly clear weather. As most of you know, I enjoy speeding down the road as my life flashes before my eyes with every lane change I make. Honestly, my heart races when I drive. It must be the adrenaline that I love. So yes, I drive very well in the winter. I make sure I keep my distance and have plenty of time to stop. I don't make daring moves, turns, or lane changes that could alter my life drastically if something were to go wrong. Also, our car's front tires are......crappy, so I can't rely on them to get me anywhere. The other night I picked my brother up from his new job (hahahaha I know! He works! It's a miracle. Visit him at No Frills in the produce section a knock over a few banana stands) and I was driving fairly slow down the side streets to my house and he says in a snarly tone, "Why are you driving so slow?" So I reply sweetly, "Because it's slippery dearest brother". He says, "Pffttt it's not slippery. You're just slow!" So, being the wonderfuly loving and bestest sister ever, I slam on my brakes and sharply turn onto our street, and as we head for the lonely little tree on the corner I can see the look of terror in his eyes well up. Of course I start laughing and correct the car and continue on our slow, yet merry little way down the quaint little street and arrive safely to our immaculate estate.

So I exagerrated a bit....sue me! Wait, Joel, is that possible??? Hmmm I must watch what I say on here...it's in writing, might be taken literally. Anyways, today I was stopped at an intersection behind this dude and his chick girlfriend in their crappy little standard and the light turns green and he's not moving. (Keep in mind I had spent 45 minutes driving from King's to Masonville, a drive that takes 5 minutes in nice weather). So I was worried that I wouldn't make the light because it's the shortest ever, so I honked at him because he wasn't moving at all or doing anything. His chick friend gets mad and starts waving her hands at me, meanwhile I'm laughing my head off because his stupid car can't get through the intersection. He finally gets going and I proceed to go, but lo and behold! I get stuck! I'm thinking, "oh crap! They're going to laugh and do one of those 'I told you so' things. I better get out of here!" So I put my foot to the floor and take off like mad around the corner, using the snow to and ice to keep my momentum. It was awesome! It was like a scene you would see in a movie. I couldn't help but smile at my amazing ability to maneouvre around the corner.

Anyways, that's all for now. Goodnight!